Please feel free to openly share your experience here on this blog thread regarding May’s Newsletter “Loves, Lossess and Lessons.” If you want to share personally with Elizabeth, it’s best to wait a few weeks until she is a bit stronger. Feel free to also emal me directly about this sad turn of events as I would love to correspond with you about it. My email is valjonfarris@gmail.com Blessings. ~ Val Jon
Val Jon
Wishing you and Eli the best, though this is sad news for me you both need to do what is best for the both of you
Much love ❤️ and respect
Suzie
Suzie, thank you so much for staying connected with me all these years. You have always (and I mean always) been, and continue to, be a positive forec in my life. ~ Val Jon
Love both of you so much. I hope your love for each other helps both of you through this transition. It saddens me that the two of you have run your course together. Be well my friends and embrace the unknown before you.
Anna, you have for so many years been an inspiration to me and I will take your advice and “embrace the unknown” fully! ~ VJ
Dear “two”, I wish you both strength and blessings to overcome this part of your live and thank you for your sharing so we can learn and grow with your experiences.
I send you love, strength , understanding and the best of wishes from my ❤️
Marco, there are few men I have met who have the kindness and graciousness of heart that you possess. You are a very special man and a wonderful example of how to treat people. I honor and respect you! ~ VJ
Thank you for sharing all that. As with everything you always contribute greatly to others even in the midst of transition.
I read it a few times.
It really touched me.
The only unconditional love I ever experienced was with my children. Interesting .
You are an overcomer V.J., a world changer, the best.
Thank you for that Dee. You know I never had children of my own so it is a wonderful learning about unconditional love. I will never have that experience for myself, but I am blessed to be able to get a glimpse of it through your sharing. I love you. ~ VJ
VJ – Thanks for sharing your heart sadness with your community and me. I’ve been there – done that and learned a lot from the process of letting go of a relationship and also growing enough to go through it again. The tragedy of my life is to lose that love from death just as life was becoming so good! Darn…Andy and I had a very special relationship – In fact, our motto was we’re all in this together… and I’m really glad to hear this almost every day now. I was his 4th wife – and so he had learned a lot by the time we got together. When we prepared to marry we read some books together – including Conscious Loving and Conscious Heart. This really helped us understand a LOT about truth telling. Truth – is what is true to you…It’s not necessarily the other person’s truth – but it is how you are feeling without apology or remorse or asking forgiveness – it just is. In other words, some moments you might feel loving – and others not so…In those times you don’t feel so loving – you have to be totally honest to the other person and not hide your feelings.
Love is being able to accept the person regardless of actions, words, situations. Love is seeing the other person as perfect even when they are not. You hold that space for the other person – maybe when they are acting out, or upset, or depressed or ??? This is love…Love is without expectation. So many want people to be their ideal, to live up to their expectations of what a husband or wife should be and when they don’t, they feel betrayed or angry. You can never have expectations of other people if you are in love. When Andy and I got married we wrote our vows from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. Instead of the normal wedding vows of promising to love one another for life…we agreed to “be good neighbors to each other.” This was a profound decision. We also agreed to revisit our vows every year to see if we still wanted to stay in the marriage together for another year. We didn’t have to feel trapped or obligated for more than a year at a time. If either of us wanted to end the marriage, we could do so each year – without hostility. There was no blame or shame in our marriage. We both endeavored to do our best at all times – and though that wasn’t always perfect – it was what we could do at the moment. We practiced telling our truth to each other fairly often – at least once a week. This was not a shaming time – this was – I”m feeling time. To sit with someone who is feeling their truth in love, instead of feeling threatened personally – you can help the person find where his/her feelings originated…lots of time in their childhood and they can release those fears and feelings when they are in a place where the other mate is holding them and loving them. It is extremely cathartic. I really miss being able to have someone to share my truth with now. On the other hand I learned the process so well I can do it directly with Spirit as well and release my fears and hurts.
VJ – my first husband and I lived together for 28 years…and both of us realized that we were ready for something different in our life. I can’t imagine now not having all the experiences I’ve had with Andy and since leaving that first relationship. I still care about him but we had work to do on earth that was outside that marriage. I expect that will be your situation as well. It seems we have about four or five lifetimes in this particular life to work on. I’m on my fourth already! Find someone who likes you…likes what you like, likes to do what you like to do, likes the same kind of music, likes to get up at the same time of day. I believe the closer to the same you are the better…for instance if you are outgoing, pick a person that’s outgoing – and vice versa. It is so much harder to stay in relationship if you do not like the same things.
OK – enough mothering…you will survive…
The world is changing – we need leaders…
Love ya, Sue Peterson Blyth
Sue, I was in tears reading your post. You and Andy were a wonderful gift to the world. The music you created together and the space of joy and love was extraordinary. How fortunate you had that time together, what a blessing. And I so much respect your experience and insight into love and relationships, reading your words was like being embraced by the wisdom of Spirit. You are a very special being and I will always love you profoundly. Thank you for being here with us and for contributing your love and care so graciously. ~ VJ
Love you too VJ. One new insight. Even though Andy has passed – I have a deep spirit connection with him that I can connect with now. It is something I’m now aware in making decisions and choices. It is there when I feel alone as a deep comfort. I don’t know if he is an “angel” or ????? But I do have a sensation and knowing and a feeling of blessedness that I did not have before he passed. I think this is in part possible because of the work I have done with you over the years. Thanks!
Wow…. I’m a little late to this comment page, but I have kept up to date through other communications. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for this generous, authentic sharing of what is so for you. I love your magnanimous-ness. I feel for you both and the rocky terrain you are/will be traveling. It can be so rough. I tend to “not like” those parts. You tend to “lean in” to them and I have so much awe and admiration for that as it’s so scary to me. I was with my husband for about 25 years before we parted ways. After all the grappling and upset, the confusion and disappointment and confronting that “this wasn’t the future I had planned” with our 2 little girls from the other side of the world, I finally found the end of the rainbow. First the intention to proceed in a loving and respectful way, focusing on helping insure that our girls had a wonderful life. AND, that our marriage wasn’t a failure, but that this part of our relationship was “complete”. I considered all the lives we’d positively impacted in profound ways through our work, the incredible journeys we got to experience, and that perhaps were the reason for our union. And now we were transitioning to a new form of our relationship. I wish you both peace in your hearts and a knowing of the extraordinary difference you’ve made as a couple to hundreds/thousands of people, who wouldn’t have experienced this had you not been together. Love, Light and Be Well.
Thank you Susie. While a very challenging transition, I feel it’s one that is absolutely necessary . . . at least for me. Bless you and thank you for your positive energy and constant sense of joy and humility. You are an inspiration in my life! ~ Val Jon